So after a 12 hour day of dealing with some of the most retarded people on the plannet last night and standing in Seattle's bone chilling rain all day, what did I have the pleasure of coming home to? Was it riches beyond my wildest dreams??? Was it a new puppy that shits $100 dollar bills??? Was it a harem of beautiful sex starved red heads? (time to reign this one in...) No, it wasn't any of those things.
Last night I came home to a flooded apartment. You see, Seattle has been thrashed by a couple of pretty severe weather systems these past few days. We saw snow, 60-80 mph winds, rain, more snow, and then like 5 inches of more rain that melted all the snow and flooded practically all of western washington. Basically the long dick of karma decided to pay a visit to Brown Town, population: Ben. Thank you Seattle's storm. You suck!
As do the Seattle Storm now that I think about it. Im no male chauvinist, who the hell wants to watch a bunch man-like dyked out women who could make Mike Tyson cry like a litte bitch play basketball? If I want that I'll watch roller derby, at least thats entertaining.
I think Lauren Jackson is the only player on the team hot enough to bone. While I would never want to arm wrestle her, at 6'5'' you could climb that Aussie body like a ladder baby! Plus you could have her reach for things on the top shelf and even beat people up for you. The only down side is she is always on top, and probably sometimes even behind. (Notice I didnt make a "down under wonder" joke. And people say I'm not mature.) Buuut I digress...
The flooding ruined my carpeting, destroyed some of my favorite books, (Why did it have to be the Christopher Moore books!?!? Why God? WHHHYYYY!!!!) my VHS copy of Showgirls, (Dont you judge me!) and soaked every single article of clothing I had piled in my closet. I was up untill about 3 am last night doing laundry and shop-vacing away like an under paid mexican maid. And I'm still not finished with it all. Not to mention that I dont have a single day off untill I leave on vacation. Awesome timing Mr. Karma....Wonder who I fucked over. Maybe this is retaliation for my practice of asking the homeless if they could spare any change. Cumon, dont lie! You think thats funny too.
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